“Just like we drew it up,” tweeted Biden, alongside an image of himself, except with eyes made of lasers.
Confused? Understandable. Dark Brandon hasn’t been much in the news since his debut two years ago. The name originated in right-wing chants of “F— Joe Biden,” reinterpreted by an NBC Sports reporter interviewing NASCAR driver Brandon Brown as “Let’s go, Brandon!” Eventually, riffing on the view among the radicalized that bumbling Biden is actually a mastermind of malignity, progressives conjured up the character of “Dark Brandon”: that laser-eyed demigod who is every MAGA booster’s worst nightmare.
What’s really interesting, however, is the way Dark Brandon has evolved — and how this evolution underscores a larger change in how liberals interact with conservative conspiracy theories.
As initially imagined by White House social media staffers, Dark Brandon mostly pursued real liberal priorities by unrealistic means: As Moses brought forth water from the rock, so did Dark Brandon spawn a booming job market in a flailing economy. Watch out, terrorists! Dark Brandon will smite you with a wink of his eye.
Today’s Dark Brandon, in contrast, isn’t after line items on the Democratic Party platform. No, he is after exactly what tinfoil-hatted right-wingers think he is after.
“Just like we drew it up” refers to the latest fantasy dreamed up by paranoid Trumpists. Swift and Kelce’s Page Six romance isn’t love after all but rather a Pentagon psy-op aimed at attracting attention to the couple so they can endorse Biden for reelection. The Kansas City Chiefs’ Super Bowl coup? Exactly that — a coup, orchestrated by the deep state to make the spotlight even brighter.
The president’s tweet leans in to the conspiracy theory, not away from it, exploiting the absurdity to earn a chuckle from the base. So does a companion TikTok, the president’s first foray onto that platform, which reeled in more than 7 million views. (Plus a write-up from the New York Times.)
This is new for the left. These ideas, after all, used to scare reality dwellers. Remember when QAnon adherents first appeared at a Trump rally, frightening commentators into frenzied analysis of their bizarre beliefs? Here and there were smirks — but mostly, observers were earnest in their fear at the phenomenon’s popularity. And they were genuine in their attempts to understand why people believed what they believed, so that someday they could convince them otherwise.
Similarly, chuckles about gobbling ivermectin or guzzling bleach during covid-19 were frowned upon: Joking around could get someone killed.
Now, what once terrified in its insanity amuses in its inanity. Dana Bash is trying not to laugh, the hosts of The View are laughing during the day, Jimmy Kimmel is laughing at night and the White House is laughing online. Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.) was laughing, too, at rumors that he had been replaced after his health struggles with a body double — releasing a gag video where this supposed duplicate interrupts the senator to ask what event he’s supposed to be appearing at.
Comedian Jim Gaffigan quipped at the Golden Globes that he was a rarity in the entertainment industry, because he’s “not a pedophile.” At the Grammys, Trevor Noah asked Terry Crews whether he “works for the CIA” like Swift.
This new attitude toward addled American minds assumes there’s no saving those who’ve gone down the rabbit hole. This makes sense. The roughly 30 percent of Americans who, despite zero evidence, still believe the 2020 election was stolen are likely past the point of persuasion. Devoted adherents to the wackiest online narratives think that whatever liberals say, the opposite is probably true — so trying to raze these narratives might reinforce them instead. And by spending time on something like QAnon or the Swift-Kelce pod people bonanza, reporters and commentators usher an idea from the fringes onto the front pages of national newspapers.
So it’s no surprise that the country’s liberal establishment has decided they would rather endear themselves to those already on their team with clever tweets, TikToks and stand-up sets than waste time wading through the fever swamps of right-wing media trying to yank lost souls out of the morass. But the outcome is as sad as it was inevitable: We’ve given up on each other.
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