We cannot forget them — not any more than we can forget Evan Gershkovich, imprisoned in Vladimir Putin’s Russia, or Austin Tice, held for more than a decade in Syria. They are American citizens, to whom we owe a fundamental duty of protection.
And yet, I am afraid, we do forget. In Israel, the hostages are omnipresent, their faces on posters that plead, that demand, “Bring them home.” In this country, the hostages, even the American hostages, are — outside of synagogues and the Jewish community — largely out of mind.
I met this week — on Day 243 of their captivity — with the families of three hostages. Edan Alexander, 20, from Tenafly, N.J., had graduated from high school and volunteered to serve in the Israel Defense Forces; he was guarding a kibbutz near Gaza when he was kidnapped. Omer Neutra, 22, a Long Island native and Knicks fan; a tank commander near Gaza, he was taken captive when Hamas attacked.
Judy Weinstein, a haiku-writing special needs teacher, mother of four and grandmother of seven, killed alongside her husband, Gad Haggai, while they were on an early-morning walk at Kibbutz Nir Oz. For weeks, the couple was believed to have been taken alive, but their children, and Judy’s 95-year-old mother, cannot sit shiva, the traditional Jewish mourning ritual, until their bodies are returned.
I have met over the years with other families facing terrible circumstances — mothers whose children were gunned down at Sandy Hook Elementary; the wife of an American contractor jailed in Cuba — and I do not mean to rank tragedies. But there was something particularly haunting in the stricken faces of the hostage families: the not knowing, day after day, whether their loved ones are still alive, or how long this hellish captivity will last. This week’s grim news that four more hostages have been confirmed dead only adds to the unbearable anxiety; Saturday’s report of four hostages rescued alive is an occasion for rejoicing, but also evidence of the roller-coaster reality the families endure, deals that are dangled yet slip away.
Of course, “hellish” applies to the continuing war in Gaza itself. The death and suffering of innocent civilians are tragic. As President Biden has said, “It’s time for this war to end.” But it should be possible to keep both sets of horrors in focus. The hostages — in particular the American hostages — have been notably absent from the public consciousness in the United States.
From the accounts of the families, that is not true of the Biden administration, which they describe as responsive and attentive from the start. The day before our meeting, they spoke — for the ninth time since Oct. 7 — with national security adviser Jake Sullivan, even as he prepared to leave with the president later that day for the ceremonies commemorating the 80th anniversary of D-Day. They have spoken twice with Biden himself, once on a Zoom call and once in person; they went to CIA headquarters to meet with Director William J. Burns.
Still, they insist, the truest measure of commitment is concrete results. “That’s when we’ll know it’s enough: when our loved ones come home,” said Andrea Weinstein, Judy’s sister.
They are less charitable toward Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and the U.S. congressional leaders who have invited Netanyahu to address a joint session. “It’s totally inappropriate right now,” while the hostages remain, said Adi Alexander, Edan’s father.
But, most of all, they have a message for their fellow Americans: Do not forget us. “The narrative is not being told enough that this was an attack … on the United States, not only on Israel — this was an attack on citizens from 24 states,” said Orna Neutra, Omer’s mother. “And more specifically, there were 44 Americans murdered on Oct. 7. … There were 12 taken hostage and eight are still hostage. I think that gets lost.”
Why, I ask, do they think that is happening? “Personally, we have suspicions, but I think part of it is that it’s perceived that those Americans are dual citizens, and maybe more Israelis than Americans,” said Ronen Neutra, Omer’s father. “So maybe … not equally important.”
Adi Alexander was, as he put it, “a little bit bold” in quoting his congressman, Rep. Dan Goldman (D-N.Y.), to the effect that the Americans killed and held hostage are “not being mentioned enough only because of the fact that they are Jews.”
Whatever the reason, the consequences are chilling. “If the United States allows the American hostages to rot in Gaza, my fear [is] — and everybody’s fear should be — that this proves to be a successful strategy for terrorism,” said Ronen Neutra. “And just like we saw 9/11 happening on our soil, it’s going to be continuing.”
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