Judge Judy has some wisdom to share outside the courtroom.
In a new interview, Judge Judy, whose real name is Judy Sheindlin, revealed the secret to her 47-year marriage to husband Jerry Sheindlin.
“You don’t spend 24 hours together because that’s deadly,” she told E! News. “Jerry just celebrated his 90th birthday, and I still like to look at him when he walks in the room. That’s a key.”
Sheindlin married Jerry in 1977, the second marriage for both. They have five children between them – Gregory, Jamie, Jonathan, Adam and Nicole – as well as 13 grandchildren, including Sarah Rose, who appears on “Judy Justice” with her grandmother.
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Judge Judy told E! News that the key to her 47-year marriage to husband Jerry Sheindlin is “don’t spend 24 hours together.” (Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic)
As she told Fox News in 2020, she and her first husband split because “he always viewed my job as a hobby. And there came a time where I resented that.”
She noted that her father was initially disappointed but “eventually he came around. He saw how unhappy I was.”
“And it was the right thing because I moved to the city. Within a relatively short time, I met Jerry Shiendlin. So, it was a frightening time but a fun time.”
Judy met Jerry, then a defense attorney, at a bar.
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The Sheindlins met in a bar by chance in the 1970s and have been together ever since. (Arnaldo Magnani/Getty Images)
“I just finished trying a murder case as a defense lawyer,” he told the Los Angeles Times in 1999. “There was a reporter from the New York Post there at the bar, and I was speaking to him about the case. Judy came walking in and put her finger in my face and said, ‘And who is this?’ I said, ‘Lady, get your finger out of my face.’ We’ve been together ever since.”
In Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue’s book, “What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share with Us the Secrets to a Happy Life,” per People, Sheindlin revealed that Jerry had been hesitant about a second marriage.
“I actually had to drag him to the altar. … He had no intention of divorcing his wife, even though they had been separated for three or four years. After we were together for about a year, I said, ‘I want to see your divorce in the newspaper or don’t bother calling again,'” she recalled.
“I said, ‘I’m not going to do that,'” Jerry added. “So, she whipped out a calendar and said, ‘Pick a date. Now.'”
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The Sheindlins’ marriage faced a crisis in 1990 following Judy’s father’s death, and they divorced for a year before reconciling. (Michael Buckner/Variety/Penske Media via Getty Images)
The couple was married for 13 years before they hit a major bump in the road.
In 1990, Judy’s father died, and as she struggled with the grieving process, she didn’t feel supported by Jerry.
“I said, ‘I’ve been taking care of you for 12 years, now it’s your turn to take care of me.’ And he was totally unaccustomed to that role,” she said in “What Makes a Marriage Last,” per E! News. “I wasn’t asking for anything unreasonable, and he wasn’t being unreasonable saying that he really didn’t know how to do that. He was 55 and had lived a certain way all his life. He couldn’t even conceptualize taking over that role. He just couldn’t.”
According to E!, Sheindlin issued an ultimatum.
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Judy and Jerry missed each other during their divorce, and Jerry suggested they remarry. (PHOTOLOGY/GC Images)
“She said to me, ‘If you can’t maneuver this, I’m going to divorce you,'” Jerry recalled. “And I said, ‘Oh, yeah? I dare you.’ And the next day I got divorce papers. The next day. So, that was the end of that.”
The divorce only lasted a year as the couple genuinely missed each other.
“I missed her presence the very first week that we were separated,” Jerry said. “It was the first time in years that we didn’t get to see each other every single day. It was such a strange experience.”
Jerry recalled they were walking together in Manhattan after leaving family court, and he said to her, “‘This is silly. I’m uncomfortable being with you all the time and not being married to you. Let’s get married again.’ She said, ‘Well, how are we going to do that?’ I said, ‘The clerk’s office is right up the street. We can go in and get a license.'”
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Judy Sheindlin said another key to their long-lasting marriage is “physical attraction.” (Gregg DeGuire/FilmMagic)
They remarried in 1991 and have stayed strong, emotionally and physically, ever since.
In a 2021 People interview, Sheindlin admitted that being “fit” is a key aspect of their happy marriage.
“We’re both very surface people when it comes to that,” she said at the time. “You know, if you fall instantaneously for somebody, that means there’s a physical attraction. And people age. People, they change. You can either do it gracefully or you can say, ‘I give up.’”
“And I, for myself, I said, ‘I choose to not give up. I choose to stay fit,’” she explained. “So, don’t even think about anything but staying, looking as good as you can possibly look at this stage in your life.”
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Sheindlin said she knew her husband was the one, thinking, “I have to have that forever.” (Michael Buckner/Variety/Penske Media via Getty Images)
Sheindlin shared more advice in “What Makes a Marriage Last,” per E! News, about recognizing the feeling of knowing someone is going to be the one.
“I’d tell them they had to have that intangible feeling of looking across the room and saying, ‘I’ve got to have me one of those,’” she said.
Sheindlin continued, “My father once told me that the first time he saw my mother was at a dance at the Jewish center when she was just 18. She was so pretty. My father was with his best friend, and he looked at him and said, ‘You see that pretty girl over there? I’m going to knock that halo off of her head.’ And he did. But he loved her from the first minute he looked at her. He saw her, and he said, ‘I’ve got to have it.'”
“That’s how I felt when I saw Jerry. I said, ‘I have to have that forever.'”
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